I was probably eight or nine, standing in Vicky's living room while my mom and her friend talked in the way adults do when they think kids aren't listening. Nancy Sinatra was playing in the background. I wasn't part of the conversation. But like any kid, I was very good at eavesdropping. What I heard that day became my first lesson in masculinity — and nobody meant to teach it.

She said something in our session that stopped me.

"I don't even know what the next step is."

She wasn't lost. She had already made the decision. She knew something had to change. She just didn't know where to start.

That's the hardest part. Not the knowing. What to do with what you know.

In this post I share two practical tools for questioning the thought that's been running your relationships — and what to do with your answer.